Where am I and where have I been?

I've been immersed within the PA program at Wayne State. I quit my job in March so I could focus more on school and have a little more time to do things I like to do outside of school and work...like play guitar and read....ride my bike....hail satan, you know....the usual. I use goodreads to update the books that I finish (which this year is embarrassingly low, maybe 2 or 3 books so far). Outside of school, I'm reading bits and pieces of various non-fiction works and am also about halfway done with the Dispossessed by LeGuin. Enjoying that book so far. The anarchist in me will never really die. These are beliefs/feelings are implanted within my very nature.

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/13270476-mars-weston

Most of my reading is studying, which will become even more prevalent next year when I'll be in rotations and taking periodical quizzes and exams. I should stop referring to clinical year as next year. It's coming up in 3 months. I'm a bit nervous about it, as I feel completely unprepared for it. Most of the classes I've had thus far could have been better handled to help prepare students. As I've said, I felt like a number of the courses didn't do too much in terms of preparation for the professional year. We'll see when I actually begin though. Ah well. I guess I kind of expected to get most of the learning done in the second year anyway. Maybe I just need to have more confidence in myself. After all, I was selected to represent the program at the annual AAPA conference (in NY this year). Doc said I had the highest grade in his courses by a remarkable amount. He also says I'm great at giving presentations. I feel humbled by his confidence in me, no doubt about that. I just wish I had that confidence in myself that he seems to have. What a great man- supporting and knowledgeable to say the very least. I can't wait until the day comes when I don't feel slightly guilty for not studying when I know I could be. I guess I should get back to it.

Currently (and always) reading:

A Canticle for Leibowitz

“....Nature imposes nothing on you that Nature doesn't prepare you to bear.”

“Soon the sun will set- is that prophecy? No, it's merely an assertion of faith in the consistency of events.”

A very interesting read. There were times when I thought it was simply okay, but upon reflection after finishing the book I can say that it is very good and memorable book. For me, this book worked in really subtle ways. It's not exactly what I was expecting it to be. The book deals with a serious subject (especially considering the time in which it was published, 1959)- life that follows centuries after nuclear devastation. While this book is regarded as a classic of science-fiction, I think it extends beyond that. This should really be a classic of American literature. Supremely crafted and written in a manner that is intriguing and, at times, cryptic. 

It picks up 6 centuries after nuclear war. In that time, there was a great backlash on the science and technology that created these weapons. People blamed science for the destruction and death throughout the land. They burned any book they could find, killed scientists, doctors, or any educated person. This was the time known as "The Simplification". Those who opposed these "Simpletons" worked to smuggle books through the American southwest to be transcribed and kept for future generations. Many of these people were caught and killed. One of these people is the man named Leibowitz who started an order in this tradition. The book is essentially divided into 3 parts:

FIAT HOMO: This is an age of little technology. In the 26th century (6 centuries after nuclear devastation), a young novice named Francis encounters a wanderer in the desert who essentially shows him the entrance to an ancient nuclear fallout shelter. In the shelter he discovers artifacts from 6 centuries earlier, including a letter (...shopping list) written by Leibowitz, the founder of his order. This causes a great uproar, as people are unsure whether Leibowitz was really the author.

FIAT LUX: For me, this was the hardest part of the book to read. It got a little dense at times and was told in a more didactic manner. 6 centuries after the previous story, this part serves as sort of a renaissance. In this age, a monk has just re-discovered how to produce electricity to emit light from an arc-lamp. More work is done to analyze the memorabilia and fragments of texts that could lead to advancements in science.

FIAT VOLUNTAS TUA: Easily the best part of the book for me (with the first part coming in a near 2nd place) Now in the year 3781, technology has soared past its current state. Humans are on their way to colonizing other parts of the solar system and science has grown to be an impressive force. So impressive that (inevitably) nuclear destruction once again threatens the existence of man. Nuclear explosions occur and there is talk about retaliation. The church orders a star-ship with several clergy, artifacts, and memorabilia to evacuate the earth before total destruction occurs.

Obviously, much more happens within the text that I won't write about. There are discussions of morality, religion, technology, and even suicide. The last subject is especially intriguing to me given the fact that later in his life, Miller became a recluse and took his own life in 1996. Even with the dense subject manner, this book tends to be very funny in unexpected places. It is one that makes you think after you are done reading it.

I'm a little busy

The last months have been pretty eventful. Well, that is to say...eventful for my relatively uneventful life ;) I've still been reading plenty but recently have had limited time to do it. For my own sake of memory, I'll do a documentation of what's been happening.

        I was laid off from my job at the start of summer 2013. This turned out to be a “blessing” in disguise and probably the best thing that could have happened this summer. I liked the job. It was very easy, had time to read/study on the job, and the pay was okay with what I was doing. Upon being laid off, I promptly looked into 2 things: 1) unemployment and 2) going on a trip to the west coast. This proposed trip included making significant stops at various destinations in the american southwest, as well as Montana. Boy, am I glad I did. After a month of lazing around (I guess some moderate planning as well), I departed for Roswell, NM. From there, I traveled to Colorado, then to Utah where I spent a good amount of time. Roswell was…interesting. It was hot. Very fucking hot. I slept under the stars at Bottomless Lakes State Park which is either 12 or 18 miles out of town. The park itself is pretty neat. Like an oasis of various lakes, ranging from a feet in deepness to over 90 feet. I wasn’t sure how crowded it would be (4^th of July weekend) so I made reservations at a large campsite which was dominated primarily by a myriad of recreational vehicles. Side note- fuck RV’s. Some are cool, yes. But these modern-day eyesores drive me insane. I come to these places to become acquainted with the land and environment, not your fucking goddamn gas-guzzling home-on-wheels. Oh well, what can I say? I am a hypocrite. Anyways, after sleeping at this state park, I decided to walk over to downtown Roswell, as the Roswell UFO festival was taking place. The idea of having a festival entirely based around aliens is awesome. And what can I say? I love E.B.E.’s. The festival itself was more mediocre than anything else. But while the UFO festival was lacking, other parts of NM made up for it. Being down there reinforced my appreciation for the atmosphere and landscape associated with the state. Bottomless lakes was pretty cool as well. It was nice out the first night, so I slept with the stars in plain sight. It was a little eerie, however, because while the sky was clear where I was, I could observe a significant storm several miles in the distance. It was far enough away so I couldn’t hear any thunder, but I was able to watch as sheets of lightening illuminate the darkened sky above me. As I lay there watching the sky, I felt a slight chill knowing that if I were to yell out, nobody would hear me. And then my mind went forth to start dreaming about alien abductions in the New Mexican desert. It wasn’t aliens (or animals, for that matter) that creeped me out. It was the idea that somebody could come up to where I lay asleep, vulnerable as a man upon a cross, and kill me. A little ridiculous? Perhaps. Because of my horrible ideas of what could happen, I slept with knife and pepperspray enclosed in my fists. I was awakened in the night by the sound of what I can only assume were desert coyotes howling at the waning crescent moon. I was reminded that it was only me out here, smiled, and went back to sleep. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I was not abducted and woke up with all my limbs intact the next morning. I caught the bus up to Grand Junction, Colorado, which was probably the best bus ride of the trip due to the great scenery surrounding the highways.

Once in Grand Junction, I rented a car and headed straight towards Utah’s beautiful national parks. I camped along the same campsite that Shawn and I had camped at 4 years previously and was happy to report that little had changed. Man, I love the atmosphere out there. I cannot say enough good things about the Canyonlands. I hope it stays protected. The last thing that place needs is more development. I went to Arches in the morning and will report that it was pretty crowded. I would love to have seen Arches National Monument as Edward Abbey saw it. Or Glen Canyon before a Dam existed. Thinking about these things makes me nostalgic for a time when I wasn't even alive. I probably get a little too emotional thinking about it. Then again, probably not. That area is one that I will continue to spend as much time in as long as I have the time and means to do so. As Mr. Abbey had put it, it is “the most weird and wonderful place on earth. There’s no other place like it.” I visited Isle in the Sky district of Canyonlands Nat’l Park. What a beautiful place. The air was so still, the atmosphere so tranquil. Given a choice, I’d welcome the opportunity to die in a place like that versus a hospital bed. I also realize that the tranquility in out there can change in an instant. God is apathetic towards the outcome of the humans (greetings, Vonnegut). A warm peaceful day can turn into a scorching hellfire where heatstroke and dehydration are the only plausible outcomes of a person’s fate. Furthermore, there exists the possibility of storms producing flash floods, sweeping away everything in its path. These things are relentless. Maybe that’s part of the reason why I love it so much. It is, by all means, a fortress of majestic solitude with dark undertones.

          From Utah, I went to the bay area where I visited my sisters, went up north to visit my Dad and other younger siblings, and traveled over to Yosemite for a couple days. There's no denying that Yosemite is a monumental park with spectacular sites. However, the development and the vast amount of people made for a less enjoyable experience. Did some nice climbing on several different trails and got to the apex of the tallest free-flowing waterfall in the United States. Would a trip like this be as fun if I had the company of other people? I know the answer to this question because I've been on a trip like this with other people. Going solo is a totally different experience.

          Out of California, I went over north and traveled east to Montana where I got a backcountry permit to do some quick two day hiking. I met two very nice girls who were from Portland and were doing a Glacier Nat'l Park hiking trip. I gotta say, I was a little jealous, as their route sounded great. They also had more time to spend there than I did. The first night in Glacier was okay. Fairly uneventful. I stayed in a group campsite where some other bicyclists were staying as well. They were nice but I kept to myself mostly. The next morning, I headed out onto the trail and was met head on with a deer. Considering that was the first sign of how this trek was going to be, I was sure to tighten my laces and keep eyes/ears open for any signs of other wildlife- mainly bears. If it's one thing that I have in common with bears, it's the fact that we both enjoy our solitude. Although a bear attack would be quite rare to happen, they do exist. The event that prompted strict restrictions on backcountry camping is known as "Night of the Grizzlies" in which 2 different people were killed by two different Grizzly bears in 2 different areas of the park. I did spot some scat on the trail, no bear sightings however. I camped in my solo tent the next night and hiked out about fifteen miles because I made good time to my intended destination. I felt like completing it all in one go. I did have a little scare as I was on the side of a mountain. I was hiking along a steep incline covered with snow in the absence of a trail. I slipped and slid down the slope a few feet before I managed to catch myself. A little scary, but not life-threatening. That night and the subsequent nights on the train were a little sad because it marked an ending to what was undoubtedly one of the best experiences of my life. I arrived in Detroit pretty late where my friends met me with smiling faces. Can't wait to do it again.

     During my time traveling, I was accepted into WSU's anatomic pathologists' assistant program, for which I had interviewed in June. It was great news, however, a pretty tough decision. Another two years to dedicate to studying and school. Then I figured that the good outweighed the bad. I would be studying pathology- an awesome subject filled with a massive amount of interesting information. If I apply myself correctly, I can get a job right out of graduation with great starting salary wages. Yes, this is where it sounds like I sell out for the money. Eh...maybe that's true to some extent. I told myself once that I will take my time trying to find alternative ways of "living". But in the meantime, if I am to be part of a system that makes me work to live, I'd rather make it count. Have a job that I like doing for a decent amount of money versus having a job that I hate doing for dollars and quarters. That was a decision after working my first job at Salvation Army for a year and half at minimum wage. I hated it.

          On top of the solo traveling and school stuff, I had some band stuff happening. We played in Chicago for Ragnarokkr festival. I had the amazing opportunity of sharing the stage with Winterhawk, who's album "Revival" is among the best hard rock albums EVER recorded. No exaggerations whatsoever. Amazing. Plus Ashbury played the previous night, which was an incredible experience. Finally, Oz closed out the second night with an exceptionally rocking set. Those 3 bands in particular really blew me away and made the entire weekend worth it. That festival was with Demon Bitch. On the more extreme side of things, Isenblast also played a show out in Maryland in front of a bunch of crazy metalheads. The show was itself was okay. It was more fun traveling in the van and partying with some guys from the show afterwards. Went to sleep at 7am to wake up at 9am. Always a great choice.

         I started the APA program in late August and as soon as that started up again, I got a call from my previous job asking if I wanted to come back to work. Whoa. I accepted and am now fully immersed in the program and working part-time. I'll do it as long as I can before I have to voluntarily quit.

     Here's a list of books that I read starting from June until now:

-Desert Solitaire

-My First Summer in the Sierra

-Into Thin Air: A Personal Account of the Mt. Everest Disaster

-Confessions of a Barbarian

-Heavy Liquid

-Ishmael: An Adventure of the Mind and Spirit

-God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian

-Where White Men Fear to Tread: The Autobiography of Russell Means

-Earth Apples: Collected Poems

-The Monkey Wrench Gang

-A Wrinkle in Time

-The Giver

-Clive Barker's Hellraiser: Book 1

-The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

-The Fool's Progress

-The Illustrated Man

-I Am a Barbarian

-Ojibwa Warrior: Dennis Banks and the Rise of the American Indian Movement

-A Princess of Mars

-Orbiter

-Watchmen

The Stars My Destination - by Alfred Bester

This post is pretty old. Oh well, it was saved as a draft last year some time but never published because I was too lazy. Seeing as how I totally forgot that this blog existed, I'll go ahead and post this here. This was a very fun read. Somewhat of a landmark too, it had some experimental and artistic passages near the climax and end. The way some of the text is laid out has you twisting the book in all sorts of directions, which invokes a feeling of dizziness, chaos, and confusion. I think some other authors saw what a unique idea this was and pushed it to the extreme (i.e. House of Leaves). A great book overall, the kind I that I would be glad to give another read in the future. Now for what I originally wrote about it:

Alfred Bester wrote a superb science fiction classic. He actually might have written two, but I still have not read The Demolished Man. The main protagonist in the Stars My Destination is not the most likable person. In fact, he's kind of a dick. But he becomes mildly likable by the end of the book. As I think more about the plot of this book, I can't help but compare it to the Count of Monte Cristo. I definitely cannot be the first person to come up with that comparison either. This seems like a sci-fi version of the tale. There's a lot of adventure elements in it- all involving space ships, asteroid colonies, underground prisons, circus people, among a billion other things. More than anything else, this book turns into a piece of art at the end. The text is arranged in crazy ways during parts of the book which enhance the disorientating feeling. It is a pretty unique book that stands alone.

I'm too tired to write about plot, it's 7am and I get off of work in 30 minutes. Here's how Wikipedia describes the plot:

"In the 25th century, "jaunting" – personal teleporation – has so upset the social and economic balance that the Inner Planets are at war with the Outer Satellites. Gully Foyle of the Presteign-owned merchant spaceship Nomad – an uneducated, unskilled, unambitious man whose life is at a dead end – becomes a victim of the war when the ship is attacked and he alone survives. After six months of waiting for rescue, a passing spaceship, the Vorga, also owned by the powerful Presteign industrial clan, ignores his signal and abandons him. Foyle is enraged and is transformed into a man consumed by revenge, the first of many transformations.

Foyle repairs the ship, is captured by a cargo cult which tattoos a hideous mask of a tiger on his face, escapes and is returned to Terra. His attempt to blow up the Vorga fails, and he is captured by Presteign. Unknown to him, the Nomad, was carrying "PyrE", a new material which could make the difference between victory and defeat in the war. Presteign hires Saul Dagenham to interrogate Foyle and find the ship and PyrE.

Protected by his own revenge fixation, Foyle cannot be broken, and he is put into a jaunte-proof prison, where he meets Jisbella McQueen, who teaches him to think clearly, and tells him he should find out who gave the order not to rescue him. Together they escape and get his tattoos removed – but not with total success: the markings come back when Foyle becomes too emotional. They then head out to the Nomad, where they recover not only PyrE, but a fortune in platinum. Jiz is captured by Dagenham, but Foyle escapes.

Some time later, Foyle re-emerges as "Geoffrey Fourmyle," a nouveau richedandy. Foyle has rigorously educated himself and had his body altered to become a killing machine. Through yoga he has achieved the self-control necessary to prevent his stigmata from showing. He seeks out Robin Wednesbury, a one-way telepath, and convinces her to help him charm his way through high society.

Foyle tracks down the crew of the Vorga to learn the identity of the ship's captain, but each is implanted with a death-reflex and dies when questioned. Each time, Foyle is tormented by the appearance of "The Burning Man", an image of himself on fire.

At a society party, Foyle is smitten with Presteign's daughter Olivia. He also meets Jisabella again – now Dagenham's lover – who chooses not to reveal Foyle's identity, although Dagenham has realized it anyway. Then, during a nuclear attack by the Outer Satellites, Foyle goes to Olivia to save her. She tells him that to have her, he must be as cruel and ruthless as she is.

Robin, traumatized by the attack, tries to buy her way out of her arrangement with Foyle with the name of another Vorga crew member. Foyle agrees, but immediately reneges. In response, Robin goes to Central Intelligence to betray him.

Foyle learns that the captain of the Vorga had has all her sensory nerves disabled and is thus immune to conventional torture, and that the ship did not rescue him because it was picking up refugees, taking their belongings, and scuttling them into space. He kidnaps a telepath to interrogate the captain, and learns that Olivia Presteign was the person in charge. Olivia rescues him fromcommandos, as she sees in Foyle someone who can match her hatred and need to destroy.

Driven by a guilty conscience, Foyle tries to give himself up, but is captured by Presteign's lawyer, who turns out to be a spy for the Outer Satellites. He tells Foyle that when the Nomad was attacked, Foyle was taken off the ship, transported 600,000 miles away, and set adrift in a spacesuit be a decoy to attract ships to be ambushed. Instead, Foyle space-jaunted – a previously unknown possibility – back to the Nomad. Now, the Outer Satellites not only want PyrE, they want Foyle as well, to find out the secret of space-jaunting.

Meanwhile, Presteign reveals that PyrE is activated by telepathy, and Robin is enlisted to trigger it and flush out Foyle. Bits of PyrE cause destruction worldwide, but primarily at Foyle's abandoned encampment in St. Patrick's Cathedral, where the lawyer has brought him. The building collapses partially, killing the lawyer and trapping Foyle, unconscious but alive, over a pit of flame. Suffering from synesthesia brought on by the explosion effecting his neurological implants, Foyle jauntes through space and time as The Burning Man. Finally he lands in the future, where Robin telepathically tells him how to escape from the collapsing cathedral.

Back in the present, Foyle is pressured to surrender the rest of the PyrE, which was protected from exploding by its Inert Lead Isotope container, and to teach mankind how to space-jaunte. He leads them to where the rest of the PyrE is hidden, but makes off with it and jauntes across the globe, throwing slugs of PyrE into the crowd at each stop. "I've given life and death back to the people who do the living and dying," he says. He asks humanity to choose: either destroy itself or follow him into space.

He now realizes the key to space-jaunting is faith: not the certainty of an answer, but the conviction that somewhere an answer exists. He jauntes from one nearby star to another, finding new worlds suitable for colonization, but reachable only if he shares the secret of space-jaunting. He comes to rest back with the cargo-cult, where the people see him as a holy man and await his revelation."

The Hobbit

For over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns cold
We must away, ere break of day
To find our long-forgotten gold






















What can be said about this great fantasy adventure tale that hasn't already been said? I wanted to give it a re-read last year before the movie came out, but only now got around to doing it. I'm glad I did. I first read this as a kid (maybe around 12 years ago?) but remembered very little except for the forest journey and the part where Bilbo encounters Gollum and the ring. Really glad I finally read it again after all these years. Tolkien's way of telling the story is done in a way that I can only describe as merry. I could just imagine an old man narrating parts of the story to me. There was a time when I would have probably skimmed through the poems/songs in the book. But I took my time with reading it this time, and it was much better. I watched the movie earlier this year and while it was definitely enjoyable, there's always that magical feeling that arises when reading the original work in paperback.

The book focuses heavily and the plot, which is pure adventure. It focuses on the Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, as he travels with a group of 13 dwarves to reclaim their land and gold from Smaug (a great name for a dragon). With initial guidance of Gandalf the wizard, they set off on their journey. During the trek they encounter trolls, goblins, giant spiders, eagles, wolves, elves, humans, and of course Smaug the dragon. The Hobbit, initially thought to be nothing more than an extra (little) body soon proves himself to be a valuable member of the group time and time again. Elements of heroism and dignity are prevalent within the book.

Sometimes I like to take a break from science fiction and this was perfect. Enchanting, magical, and captivating. I used to have the version of the book with Tolkien' own water color painting as the cover, but the spine fell apart and I'm guessing it ended up in the trash at some point. Glad I found the same version recently at John King. I will go on to read the Lord of the Rings sometime soon, as that has been on my reading list since I was in the 6th grade. I just have to find the printing of the Fellowship with Tolkien's artwork, I already have the other two. Read it and die.

Phil Dick - The Man in the High Castle

After I finished Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, my interest in Phillip K. Dick increased greatly. I had never read any of his novels before a few days ago but I had always enjoyed movies that were based on his stories (ie. Blade Runner and Total Recall). In my time reading more about his biography, I stumbled upon an interview where he shares his view on the genre of science fiction. In the interview he states that the mainstream wants the population to believe that science fiction is held together by greasy, pimply-faced nerds with thick rimmed glasses lining up to get their comic books signed. Although that is totally cool with me, that's not his idea of science fiction. As can be amassed by his stories, his idea of science fiction deals with potentially recognizable futures painted in such a way that is (at times) harrowing and disturbing. The genre of science fiction is essentially a genre of ideas and he really reflects on that. He takes science fiction, a genre that has an immense amount of pulp, and rescues it from becoming a ghetto. He writes with an applicable feel that may leave the reader scratching his head and asking himself, what if that actually happened? In the two books I've read of his, Dick managed to re-vitalize the genre by bringing a certain quality back. The purpose and meaning is there. The books are of substance and quality.

I'm not very smart. But I am smart enough to know that Man in the High Castle was a pretty interesting book. It's kind of heavy. Not in a literal sense, but in a sense that there are a couple thematic elements going on. I don't know what they are, but I can tell that they're there. Well, maybe I can sense a few themes and meanings. Overall, however, I'm a person who gets more into the book itself and less into reflecting and analyzing the book. This book, however, is filled with introspection. It also asks the question of what reality is. My reality is different from my Mom's reality, which is different from Leroy's reality (homeless dude who just came up to my door asking for a shirt, pants, socks, and underwear).

This book can definitely be classified as science fiction, but I would say it's even more of an alternate history fiction book. It focuses on the events after WW2- in an era where the Axis won and jointly controlled the United States (Japan on the Pacific and Germany on the Eastern side). Racism and slavery still exist throughout the nation. In reality, both of these things still exist in 2013, just in different forms. There are essentially three plot developments in the book which are all related in some way or another. I won't get into the plot because I can always go over to Wikipedia if I want a refresher. All I can say is that this book is not what I was expecting to be, which is usually a pleasant surprise when then happens. Dick painted a different reality here than in Androids, but it is equally (if not more) unsettling. 

A book with a few elements attached to it, and one that is definitely worthy of it's Hugo award. I'm actually a little surprised that I wasn't forced to read this in my AP Lit class in high school. I probably would've hated it if we were made to read it though. I was too defiant to enjoy anything that I was made to do in high school. 

Also, I just read that SyFy acquired rights to do a 4 part miniseries with Frank Spotnitz (of X Files fame) as lead writer and Ridley Scott as a producer. Sounds like there could be a little potential. 

Virgin Planet by Poul Anderson

Virgin Planet. A fun read that can be read in one sitting if you have a few hours to spare. Found this at a used bookstore because it was on display in a clear slipcase.

The title, description, and art was essentially an open promise that this book would be (if nothing else) entertaining. That it was. The premise is simple enough. In the future a man travels into a part of space that had not been explored (because of an alleged vortex) and he discovers a planet that is not too dissimilar from Earth. The planet is inhabited exclusively by women (warriors, priests, children) and they quarrel over the newly arrived man. Some believe he is a monster, some know he is a man, some don't care.

The man is captured by a beautiful woman from a particular family/caste called Whitney soon after exiting his ship. It's not long before he's asked to prove he is a man by giving his seed to this particular woman. As news of the man's landing spreads to different tribes, tensions begin to rise and violence breaks out. The Whitney, her twin cousin, and another woman join the man after they escape from a battle. They aim to find the truth of how the planet of women is maintained while also trying to stay alive and convince non-believers that he is truly a man. The man promises that if he can get back to his ship, he can bring ships full of men for all the women on the planet. Anderson wrote a fun adventure story here that should only be read if you are able to not take things too seriously.

It was an interesting concept for a story, kind of done in a Barbarella-esque way. Sam said it sounded like the movie Dinosaur Island to him, which I have not seen. Recommended if a person is looking for a good, light sci-fi read.